My friends decided to start a car club.
Bomex Mc Liempo Magnum Balls Car Club (MBCC)
MBCC defines a “Magnum Balls Car” as a car that’s on the club’s list of Magnum Balls cars. If your car is not on the list, don’t fret, as MBCC updates the list from time to time. There are some rules that MBCC follows in deciding whether a car is a “Magnum Balls Car” and can go in the list. Here’s some.
RULE 1: A Magnum Balls Car does not have 4-doors. 4 Doors are for the plebian. The true Badasses of the world drive cars with not-4-doors. Two doors, Hatchbacks, Wagons, Vans, Pickups, Tanks, Fire Trucks.
RULE 2: A Magnum Balls car has only 2-wheel-drive! 4-wheel-drive offers too much control and safety to require Magnum Balls to opperate There are exceptions, but very few!
RULE 3: A Magnum Balls Car has Murderous Intent.
The defining attribute of a Magnum Balls Car is its orientation toward Danger as against Common Sense.
Muscle Cars are a good example of this. Huge V8 engine, squishy suspension and 4-wheel drum brakes require Magnum Balls to operate. As does anything that is prone to Snap Oversteer such as mid engined cars and short wheel base rear-wheel-drive cars. Any Front-wheel-drive car exceeding 500 WHP is automatically a Magnum Balls Car just because.
A Magnum Balls Car is not a “Practical” car. Its motivation is not to safely transport people in comfort and convenience. Rather, its purpose is to provide the pilot assurance of speed, exhilaration, and danger even at the expense of safety.
By its nature, a Magnum Balls Car will be demanding of its owner and require from him involvement, money, and sometimes Blood.
Just because it’s a race car doesn’t mean it’s a Magnum Balls Car. Vioses, Miatas and the Hyundai Geneseseses are raced yet require only tiny balls to operate, and in some cases may be operated with a vagina, and are therefore NOT Magnum Balls cars.
Tuner cars, modified cars, special editions, etc., are they eligible? YES. But they must be executed in a way that will convince Bomex that they now truley require Magnum Balls to operate.
It is possible to modify a car that previously did not qualify to be a Magnum Balls car into one. A Lancer Box Type is a good example. In stock form they are quite plebeian and too slow to be of any real danger, but one that has been on fire or flipped over its roof may qualify as a Magnum Balls car.
The ‘official list’ of Magnum Balls cars will be published shortly.